MY OUT-OF-OFFICE IS CURRENTLY ON HIGH ALERT HOODIE

Yo, listen up. This sweet/sick/dope hoodie is your official signal that I'm off the grid, living my best life, and soaking up some sun (or snow, depending on where I am). Don't even try to slide into my DMs or call me unless it's an emergency of epic proportions. I'm relaxing/recharging/unwinding hard and need some serious me time/alone time/peace.

It's not a metaphor, it's fact. I crave my morning dose of caffeine like a person requires oxygen. Truly, the thought of starting my day without it causes me stress. Decaf doesn't matter much, as long as that bitter flavor touches my taste buds. It's not just a drink, it's fuel for my soul. I am a creature of routine, and that tradition is my coffe